What is Love Addiction?
What is Love Addiction? Love addiction is described as one person “loving” another person with an obsessive intensity that is not in the best interest of either party. Love addicts spend an excessive amount of time and effort on a person to whom they are addicted. Love addicts value this person above themselves, and their focus on the beloved other is often obsessive. Love addicts also tend to enjoy the feeling of excitement that being “in love” brings. This behavior results in love addicts neglecting to care for themselves in a variety of ways, in essence abandoning important aspects of their lives and well-being to stay connected to the object of their affection.
A love addict’s core fantasy is the expectation that someone else can solve their problems, provide unconditional positive regard at all times, and take care of them. When this unrealistic need isn’t met, love addicts may find themselves feeling resentful, and may create conflict in their relationships with others.
Some love addicts find that when not involved in a love-addicted relationship, they are able to care for themselves quite adequately. However, when they become involved, the love addict quickly finds that their self-care capacity steadily declines. A love addict will typically experience intense pain and depression when a relationship ends and will transgress their own values in order to keep the relationship going amd avoid abandonment and withdrawal.
As with any addiction, recovery from love addiction is a process of self-discovery. It requires taking specific steps: breaking through denial and acknowledging the addiction; owning the harmful consequences of the addiction; and intervening to stop the addictive cycle from occurring.
A solid relationship with a skilled therapist at Bluffview Counseling, trained in love addiction can help guide you through this process. Start your healing today.